This charming fellow did not reveal his location:
HihI. i am looking for woman and this can be either you or it can be your friends. recent pen-friend (also from the UK) describe me as ’stunningly inadequate, and difficult to open’ but i see yuo have philosophy and so i would believe there are no barriers you could not hop across. myself i was also at college. i went in there, and then died, and then went in there again. i am now almost done. now its Time to come together and make it good. i hope soon to come to scottland also, to see the high hills and low cracks and so if we can make friend now then when i am in the country i surely find it easier to meet woman (though we can start with yourself).
thankyou for my induction.
I don’t know what I love most about this one, but the dramatic language regarding his education is certainly a strong contender. I think the world might be a better place if when you said “Hey Phil, aren’t you a university dropout?”, your mate Phil replied “Yeah, man, I went in there, and died—but I went in there again, and I’m graduating next week! It’s time to come together and make it good, boys!”
Also, I know I can’t be the only one who loves it when a stranger in a bar (in one of Scotland’s illustrious high hills or low cracks of course) says “Hi there. Let me buy you a drink—I’m looking for a woman, and it can either be you, or it can be one of your friends.” This mildly threatening come-on is really one to make a girl feel uniquely attractive.
More importantly, I know what I’ll be adding to my CV as soon as I’ve finished this blog post: ‘Able to hop across absolutely all barriers due to the fact I have philosophy.’
HAHA! Laughing aloud at work.
Also, it is bemusing that he advertises the fact that a friend described him as ’stunningly inadequate.’
Comment by Lucy — June 16, 2009 @ 2:31 pm |
Tell me about it. Perhaps he thinks that this is a compliment due to the sarcastic inclusion of the adjective ’stunning’? Maybe he’s not sure quite what ‘inadequate’ means. Or maybe he does understand and accept that this is a character flaw–after all, he’s not very picky about women. It can be you, or it can be your friends!
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 16, 2009 @ 2:33 pm |
Oh Emma. You are pollen to the “stunningly inadequate”.
Also, can I be the first of many to say I CAN HAZ PHILOSOPHY NAO?
Comment by Bobby. — June 16, 2009 @ 2:33 pm |
Ha!
As soon as I hit adolescence, instead of having well-adjusted, strapping lads approach me, all I ever got was nutters of one sort or another. This was a bi-directional problem, as it also turned out that I was only ever attracted to nutters as as well (though usually not the same ones who were interested in me). Emmo used to keep a list of which major psychological disorders she thought my boyfriends and love interests probably had.
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 16, 2009 @ 2:42 pm |
I know what you’re saying with the dramatic language hehe he died and then rose again like Jesus, I just wonder what was the cause of his death? Maybe blunt trauma
Comment by Hugh Garse — June 16, 2009 @ 2:36 pm |
This is a good suggestion. I do quite like to imagine him being beaten.
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 16, 2009 @ 2:43 pm |
“Stunningly inadequate” made me laugh, but oh, to see the low cracks of Scotland …
Comment by Tweekedcat — June 16, 2009 @ 4:35 pm |
If you come over from the US, I’ll show you them!
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 17, 2009 @ 12:16 am |
Oh, I don’t know what part of this I love the most. I can’t stop giggling at it! I too miss ‘the high hills and low cracks’ of Scotland! Why on earth would you not want a stunningly inadequate man with the ability to die then ‘go again’? An excellent ‘induction’!
xx
Comment by Lynsey — June 16, 2009 @ 5:23 pm |
Hey, resurrection is a pretty cool trick. I mean, sure, Jesus was hot anyway…
Comment by Aidan — June 16, 2009 @ 6:42 pm |
Jesus wasn’t bad. I mean, you wouldn’t say no. When it comes to biblical figures, however, Satan is hotter (and I should know–I met him once when he came over here for a philosophy conference).
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 17, 2009 @ 12:12 am
I’m chuckling at your comment, Lynsey! I bet Scotland’s low cracks miss you too.
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 17, 2009 @ 12:10 am |
Ahahahahahahahahaha!
Simply wonderful. Was “the high hills and the low cracks an attempt at double entendre, I wonder?
Comment by James McGraw — June 16, 2009 @ 7:41 pm |
I’m not sure, as his message wasn’t generally lewd. I kind of hope it was an attempt at double entendre, though! Thanks for advertising this on Twitter, by the way, James. You’re most kind.
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 17, 2009 @ 12:13 am |
LMAO! Actually awesome, i love the whole ” i went in there, and then died, and then went in there again” Gets me every freakin’ time! Bwahahahahah! <3
Comment by littleemmo — June 16, 2009 @ 11:29 pm |
Yeah, me too! It comes back to me at the strangest times, and I crack up. I remember one day on which I just started laughing really randomly when I was supposed to be studying, and you thought I’d lost my mind.
(“Well Emma G, that’s a lot like most days we spend together,” you might reply).
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 17, 2009 @ 12:15 am |
when i am in the country i surely find it easier to meet woman (though we can start with yourself).
Nono, let’s see how you get on with other ‘woman’ first and you know, if you do well, you might be in with a chance
Comment by Makr — June 17, 2009 @ 12:08 am |
Ha!
And hello, Mark! I didn’t realise you were reading this (though I spied you on Emmo’s blog). I’ll see you on Saturday at Lewis’s birthday BBQ.
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 17, 2009 @ 12:15 am |
Ah yeah, I do drop by every now and then. Not as often as I do Emmo’s blog though since you update less often
It’s a good thing too considering what it’s here to document!
See you on Saturday!
Comment by Makr — June 18, 2009 @ 12:40 am
He wasn’t crazy, just misunderstood. You’re such a ball buster, he could be perfect in every other way.
Comment by Andy — June 19, 2009 @ 5:20 pm |
Hi Emma, Saw you on julessmiley’s twitter so started following u…have we met? I feel like I know you from somewhere?! Anyway, stumbled across your blog via twitter and have been crying with laughter for the past fifteen mins – it’s absolutely hilarious! x
Comment by Rachel — July 19, 2009 @ 11:04 pm |
He’s obviously a jar of jam with a stuck lid – poor fellow.
You can tell from the description given of him by someone else: “stunningly inadequate, and difficult to open”. I know for a fact that unopenable jam is incredibly inadequate to my demands for toast-based snacks.
Inanimate objects frequently have trouble when spontaneous anthropomorphism hits them. This jam jar appears to be confused as to whether it is a zombie, a student, or an idiot (although in the presence of alcohol, a student may be said to be all three of those things).
Comment by DrMelon — October 8, 2009 @ 6:28 pm |