I’m from Glasgow. My accent isn’t strong, but it’s strong enough that I’m guilty of lazily dropping the letter ‘t’ from words like ‘what’ when I’m speaking very quickly (which is most of the time). Many of my friends and family members have stronger accents than I do, and I’m actually quite fond of Glaswegian parlance sometimes; I’m a particular fan of ‘bawbag’, ‘tube’, and ‘get tae’. However, I strongly dislike those people (Scottish or otherwise) who take great pains to bring their accent across in everyday text-based communication for absolutely no good reason. I particularly loathe this when it is combined with offensively unnecessary abbreviations. On an unrelated note, I also hate bad poetry. With that in mind, let me introduce you to John:
Awrite? mah names john d. and im frae glasgow but live over the border noo and am studyin in Lancaster fur mah degree. ah see ur @ Glasgow wot ru studyin? wot ah do in spare time is look @ pix of lassies on here and wen they inspiration me then I send a poem. ah did that for u the noo. dis one is based oan ur pic wer ur relaxin oan a pillow:
*as the night sky falls i fill ur heart with love
but yet i fead ur soul wit all that i av.
in times of needing i might no be there by ur side,
and u turn and look and feel so alone,
but in ur heart is where i will be
always.*
Rite back!
xxxxxxxxxxx
Good lord. I don’t think I’ve ever ‘inspirationed’ a man to quite that degree before.
Eeek. That’s really terrible.
So I’m reasonably sure I know what you mean by “get tae”, and I think I’ve gotten the gist of “tube” from your journal, but what on earth is “bawbag”?
Comment by Ashley — June 6, 2009 @ 2:31 am |
‘Get tae’ is short for ‘Get tae fuck’, as in ‘fuck off’ (which is probably roughly what you were thinking). ‘Bawbag’ literally means ‘ballbag’ I guess, which we use to indicate someone who has done something stupid, e.g. ‘What a fucking bawbag’ (though I’m used to hearing it from my best friend, who uses it to express mocking affection for me in my moments of idiocy, much as I also usually say ‘tube’ with some measure of fondness). Related to ‘bawbag’ is ‘nae baws’–you could scornfully call a coward ‘Johnny Nae Baws’!
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 6, 2009 @ 12:32 pm |
If there’s one thing we can be 100% sure of, it’s this: your man John definitely doesn’t just paste that “poem” into every e-mail he sends to girls on the internet!
Comment by Chris Coltrane — June 6, 2009 @ 12:58 pm |
I wonder, though… did any of them ever ‘rite back’?
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 6, 2009 @ 1:02 pm |
Hahaha, I wonder if when you turn and are so lonely, where is the bastard??! Also, feeding your soul eh? Sounds like a definite. Go for it.
x
Comment by Dan — June 6, 2009 @ 1:07 pm |
Sadly, this one was received a couple of years ago, so the offer has probably expired. Mind you, he might no longer be ‘living over the border noo’–it could be worth getting back in touch with him.
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 6, 2009 @ 1:10 pm |
wot ah do in spare time is look @ pix of lassies on here and wen they inspiration me then I send a poem.
… and I’m not a potential serial killer, honest!
Comment by Sarah Shuster — June 10, 2009 @ 4:01 pm |
On the contrary, he seems very balanced!
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 10, 2009 @ 4:08 pm |
That’s some genuine talent right there.
Comment by Andy — June 12, 2009 @ 10:32 pm |
Yeah, that’s the sort of poetry you should be aiming to produce.
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 13, 2009 @ 4:51 pm |
To be fair on John, he could be taking great pains to write in Scots, which is something of a properly recognised language. That’s no excuse for bad poetry, though.
Comment by martin — June 14, 2009 @ 2:44 pm |
You’re right about Scots being something of a properly recognised language, and I’m probably showing a horrible lack of patriotism when I say that I really can’t stand things written in Scots (even literature). Still, I’m pretty sure that being ‘inspirationed’ isn’t a part of our cultural heritage, at least!
Comment by ohiseewhatyoudidthere — June 14, 2009 @ 2:49 pm |
Hello from a fellow Scot!
Good gods though – I can’t stand it when people attempt to type their dialect. Coupled with mediocre-at-best poetry, it drags fingernails down the blackboard of my soul.
Comment by DrMelon — October 8, 2009 @ 6:22 pm |